hope for my baby

Welcome to the world, my sweet baby.

Welcome to the world, that we’ve completely polluted and trashed before your arrival. I’m sorry you may never know a world with leopards and gorillas. I’m sorry that we’ve killed so much of what you’ve yet to explore. I’m sorry that there’s so much left for you to clean.

Welcome to the world, my sweet baby-

a world where we kill each other over what happens after you die. Where we sell women and children for the unthinkable. Where men are still seen as the dominant sex, in comparison to women.Where we hate people based on the color of their skin.

Welcome to the world, my sweet baby-

Where children are yanked away from their parents, as if the choices of adults is their fault. Where we are driven by eliminating the freedom of others.

Welcome to the world, my sweet baby-

Where we have to hide under the blanket if you need to drink mommy’s milk in public. Where emotions aren’t valid, and your meltdown because you’re having a bad day, makes you terror, by societies standard. Where my choices yo guide you are criticized every second of every day.

Welcome to the world my sweet baby-

Where you can’t go outside alone, because you’ll undoubtedly be taken. Where I’m terrified to post a picture of you on a public platform, because somehow “they’ll find you”.

Welcome to the world, my sweet baby. It’s pretty disappointing right now.

and I am so sorry.

BUT, there is hope.

You are my hope, my sweet baby.

I know you better than anybody, and I know your strength. I know that this world will not crush your spirit.

My hope for you, my sweet baby…..

is that you lead your peers to excellency, while following God, in every decision you make.

My hope for you is that you take care of your loved ones, your possessions, your community, the earth around you, and most importantly, yourself.

My hope for you is that you act kindly, without expecting a reward. That you say “yes” as often as possible, but never forget how to say “no”.

My hope for you, my sweet baby, is that you make your mark on this damaged and brutal world, and spread your joyful heart and belly laughs around to every inch of the earth possible.

My hope for you, my sweet baby, is that you and your children and your grandchildren, can somehow find the beauty in this world.

Ignoring the aesthetic

You know exactly what I’m talking about.

You scroll through instagram and see picture after picture of perfect homes, full of trendy decor. You see a timeline full of babies that grinning from ear to ear, dressed in clothes you could never afford. You see nurseries with the most unique wallpaper and homes that are so spotless, you can practically smell the lavender and clean linen through the image. You see earth tones and pale tones and feed that flows so beautifully it’s almost orgasmic.

It’s intimidating. You see all of these beautiful photos with thousands of likes and you feel lesser than. You feel like you need to burn your house down and build a new one from scratch. You want to throw out all of your kids clothes and drop a grand on a new wardrobe that’ll last about three months. You itch to have the same things as these social media kings and queens.

But let me remind you… It’s never what it seems.

Yes, these highly followed goddesses have an amazing aesthetic. They work hard on making their image and I applaud them for doing it, because holy cow, it’s a full time job.

However, it’s all edited. You only see the bits and pieces that they want to show the world. It took me a long time to learn this, and I spent a lot of time trying to “catch up” to other mamas and wives that were my age, when turns out, they’re no “better off” than my family. For example, one of my favorite bloggers that I idolize has a beautiful living room set up. I’m saying stunning wallpaper, chunky furniture that’s perfect thrown together, matching blankets on every chair, no dog hair visible on the floor, the whole nine yards.

And then I watched ONE story post and noticed a massive amount of clutter, ranging from toys to pet products to amazon boxes to half empty cups, and everything in between. That’s when I realized, she, and all other influencers, are just like anyone else.

Literally anyone can conform to the “look”. I may post these edited pictures of one corner in our home along with a sweet caption about rocking my baby, and you would think we have our lives completely together.

But what you don’t see are these raw images of my husbands dirty PT’s on the dresser, our unmade bed, the empty water bottles on our nightstands, the mirror covered in grubby baby handprints or the mountain of clothes that I need to wash.

I may post this clean shot of my sons Peter Pan inspired nursery:

and you would never think that 30 seconds prior to taking it, his room looked like this:

Unless you have a housekeeper and a nanny, your house will never stay spotless for very long. It’s life. It takes YEARS to achieve a fully furnished and decorated home. My parents, both over 40 with full time jobs, have owned their house for sever years, and still have empty places on the wall.

The point is, in the words of Hannah Montana, nobody’s perfect. Influencers show you certain parts of their life because those are the parts that they want to put on display. It’s what YOU like to see. It’s what sells their product or tempts you to click their affiliate link or whatever else may benefit them. And good for them, as that’s exactly what they should post.. what makes them feel happy and complete.

But do not lose your sanity trying to compete with their aesthetic, as you’re only seeing a teeny tiny piece of the big picture.

be good. still good.

Good morning, 2019.

Mom life is a tough gig man. I was asleep by 10pm last night! What about you?

I don’t normally make resolutions, mostly because I don’t usually see a point. Why wait until the new year to change your ways or make a difference? This year, however, I’m giving it a shot.

2018 was a tough year for me and my family. While it was by far the best we could’ve asked for, it was also very trying.

My husband returned from a deployment in February, we welcomed our son to the world in April and we closed on our first home in July, all while dealing with the trials and tribulations of marriage (right out of the honeymoon phase) and dealing with a lot of mental illness.

I spent a lot of time shedding tears and tearing myself to pieces in 2018. So here are my three resolutions for 2019, plus a bonus, for good measure.

RAISE A GOOD HUMAN

My son is a week shy of 9 months old. He’s mobile and so smart. He’s learning a lot every single day. I won’t lie, I cuss a lot. I say ugly things, make unfair assumptions frequently and can sometimes be a little selfish. We all have our faults. That being said, I want my son to grow up loving everyone and spreading kindness around like confetti. Kids watch us more than we think. They want to be just like mom and dad. My number one and most important resolution for 2019 is to lead by example and teach my son to be genuine and caring. When I was 18 I had “act without expectation” tattooed on my arm, and while sometimes I lose touch, those are the most meaningful words to my heart. It means to do good, even if you know you won’t receive anything in return. My biggest hope in life is that they hold close to my children’s hearts as well.

SELF CARE, SELF LOVE

I lost myself quite a bit in becoming a mom. I stopped doing my hair and makeup. I stopped doing my nails and dressing cute. I quit buying things for myself. I started rushing through my personal and private times, such a showers and what not. I put so much energy into our kid that I drained myself. Worse than that, I didn’t refill myself either. My goal for 2019 is to take an hour or two a week to recharge. Read a book. Eat in peace. Relax. Untouched. It’s hard to remember that you’re still important once you have a little one depending on you 24/7 but as the great Shel Silverstein once said, “I can be someone else’s and still be my own”.

BE A NICE WIFE

This is one that I HAVE to keep, no matter what. As you know, I’ve dealt with a lot of PPD, causing me to be very ugly towards my husband much too often. He’s a great man. No. He’s a perfect man. He does more than I could put into words for our family, and I have no clue how to repay him for his love and generosity. He’s the most patient man alive, seriously. All of these things, and yet I still throw trash at him (no not literally). I still make snarky comments and complain about simple, incomplete tasks, such as taking out the trash or mild clutter. This year, starting from the second I opened my eyes this morning, Ive decided to stop before I say anything to my husband. I’ve decided to think about how he feels and consider the context. I’ve decided to stop with the “small, joking” arguments because they turn into big and serious fights. I’ve decided to love unconditionally and allow him to be as much himself as possible, because while I deserve a break from life sometimes, so does he, and he rarely takes the time.

***bonus resolution***

START BLOGGING MORE!!!!

This one goes hand in hand with self care. Writing is something that I genuinely enjoy and it’s a positive outlet. Since October, I’ve been trying out new jobs (to no avail) and busy stressing about the holidays that I dropped off the blog completely. But, you can’t just abandon something you love. So in 2019, I am determined to post at least one entry a week, if not more. I’m determined to add lots of new content, collaborate and work with affiliates, and drive a lot more traffic this way. I’m obviously biased, but I feel as if I could positively influence a lot of mamas and wife’s if I put my mind in the right place.

So please, if you have ANY ideas for entry’s or collaborations, contact me! I’d love to hear from you, and of course-

Welcome to 2019. We’re still good.

easiest lactation cookies you will ever make

I don’t usually post at this frequency but my husbands away so how else is a girl supposed to spend her free time?

So, I don’t normally do recipes because most of my recipes are pinterest specials, stolen from foodie bloggers.

This one, however, I conjured up on my own.

The easiest lactation cookies you will ever make.

I’m REALLY bad at baking. Cooking is easy but baking? Measuring? Im literally the worst. These are *almost* fool proof, though! They’re not healthy. I’m giving you that heads up right now but they do taste pretty good.

I have a VERY hard time keeping my milk supply, and these cookies help me out a lot and give me something to snack on while little man is on the boob.

The three ingredients that make this a great lactation support cookie are:

– Ground Flax

– Oats

– UpSpring Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle drink mix

Check out my recipe below!

Lactation cookies

ingredients

1 pack of Betty Crocker Chocolate chip oatmeal cookie mix

1 stick of softened butter

1 egg

1/4 cup of ground flax seed

1 scoop UpSpring Milkflow Chai Tea Latte drink mix (Amazon $17.99 – Makes 24 bathches)

directions

1. Preheat oven to 375°
2. Mix together all ingredients until texture it’s one big ball of dough
3. roll into 1″ balls and place on an ungreased cookie sheet 1″ apart from one another (I usually end up with about 14 because I can never get them all equal sizes so I use 2 sheets)
4. bake for about 14 minutes, or until cookies are golden brown
5. Let sit for 2 minutes before scraping from pan

Enjoy with almond milk for even more milk making magic!

What’s your best trick to boost milk supply??? Tell me in the comments, I’m always looking for new ideas!

**This post isn’t endorsed by UpSpring in any way and is in no way affiliated with the company**

Don’t forget to follow the blog on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meltdownmombie/

3 things I miss about being pregnant

The entire time that I was pregnant, I repeatedly told my best friend to remind me that I never want to go through it again. During labor, I literally told my husband “never again”. They always say “you forget all of the pain as soon as you look into your babies eyes”.

They’re lying. Pregnancy takes a toll on your body. Five months postpartum and I still cringe at the thought of morning sickness, back pain and acid reflux.

That being said, there are a few things that I truly miss about pregnancy.

Three, to be exact. I miss three things.

1. My Husband Taking Care of Me

My husband was the sweetest man alive whileI was pregnant. Seriously, he went and got me any and all cravings. He helped me with household chores. He cuddled me during daily crying fits and let me nap in his lap. When I couldn’t sleep at night because I was so uncomfortable, he’d sit up with me and talk. When I struggled to get out of my seat, he’d help me stand. During labor, he calmed every fear I had, held my hair back when things got gross, drove me all around middle tennessee until we could finally get admitted, and everything else in between. As mothers and wives, it seems like we’re always tending to our nest. We’re always wiping a kid off or folding our husbands underwear or feeding the whole house. So, It’s nice to be taken care of, sometimes.

2. The Baby Kicks

This is my main reason. I’m telling you, very few things in this world are as exciting as feeling your baby kick for the first time. It’s such a reassuring feeling. It’s a little tickle in your tummy that let’s you know everything is okay. It reminds you that, for now, right now, your baby is so safe. You get so used to sleeping that way, you feel lonely once the belly is gone and your baby is on the outside. Its close to indescribable, honestly. I really didn’t think that I would miss it, but I almost ache to feel his little kicks one more time.

3. The Bump

Girl. GIRL. I don’t know how many women can relate to this one, but I miss that baby bump! I miss the way my clothes fit over my tummy like a little basketball. I miss having somewhere to put my hands when I feel awkward (which is often). I felt cute pregnant. I’m not sure if it’s a subconscious thing, telling my myself that “now I have an excuse to wear leggings with no judgement”, but my confidence and self esteem sky rocketed when I had a pregnant belly.

Okay, okay. I’ll be honest, I’d go back and do every bit of pregnancy over again. Pregnancy is no fun, but loving your little one is the most amazing thing ever.

So, to any mamas out there struggling with the “pregnancy blues”, I see you. I get it. You will not forget it BUT it will be worth it in the end. I promise.

deployment and diapers

So, pretty much anyone that’s kept up with my blog knows that my husband is in the Army. We spent half of our first year of marriage separated by roughly 6000 miles, an ocean and some sand.

On August 8th, 2017, he boarded a plane and made his way to the middle east on what was originally a nine month long deployment. On August 9th, I took a pregnancy test and discovered that I was four weeks pregnant with our first child.

As you can imagine, my emotions were all over the place. I was so excited because we had already planned on starting our family once he got home. That’s the thing though. We were planning on it when he was home. Now, he was half a world away and my due date was a month before he was scheduled to come home.

Now let me tell ya, pregnancy is hard no matter what. Women are total champions. It was exceptionally hard to really enjoy pregnancy because I felt as if I was doing it all on my own.

During the first few weeks, I had such severe morning sickness, that ended up in the emergency room because I couldn’t hold anything down, including water, for over 48 hours. Driving to the hospital and sitting in the waiting room all alone is overwhelming. That was the first time I was able to hear the babies heartbeat or see the little peanut and it was the definition bittersweet. Of course, this scenario isn’t the worst thing in the world, but it was definitely a little heartbreaking.

What’s more heartbreaking, however, was “technical difficulties”.

We decided that we wanted to find out our baby’s gender together. So at the ultrasound, I had them keep it a secret, write it down and put it in an envelope. After I left the appointment, I sat in my car until my husband got back to his barracks room. We Skyped each other and I opened the envelope while he was watching.

IT’S A BOY! The son my husband wants so badly.

Unfortunately, the quality of the call was so terrible and glitchy that he couldn’t even see what was written down. So, I ended up telling him after all. Granted, my husband doesn’t typically get caught up on the sentimentality of things and was still just as excited as he would have been finding out on his own. To me, it was just another disappointment.

It seemed like it was constantly one thing after another. Of course, my hormones were crazy and he was in a war zone, stressed out beyond imagination. There were a lot of arguments that shouldn’t have happened.

I gathered diapers, bought a car seat and tried to get everything ready for the baby. I organized a plan to get to the hospital when it was time, and I organized a back up plan, just in case. I planned my baby shower. I accepted the fact that he would miss it all.

Then, to our surprise, he got the word that his unit was coming home three months early, meaning he would get home two months before my due date. We had been blessed. He got home, and we were able to enjoy our last month and a half of “freedom” before we welcomed our little one to the world.

We were so fortunate to be reunited before the birth of our baby. However, a lot of military families are not as lucky. I know far too many wives who have given birth without their husband there. I know a lot of soldiers who missed the birth of their children because of deployment. I know a lot of dads who meet their kid for the first time when they’re already many months old. I know a lot of families who welcome their little one, just for dad to leave weeks later and not see his child again for almost a year.

Marriage is hard. Pregnancy is hard. Parenting is hard. Serving your country is hard. Combining them all is even harder.

So, to any mamas out there going through pregnancy, childbirth or new parenthood solo while half of your heart is over seas, please know that I see you. I know it’s hard, but cherish these moments with your little one and try to practice patience every chance that you are given. Share as much as you possibly can with your partner, they’re hurting too. And, to any daddy’s away from their babies, you’re doing an amazing thing and setting an excellent example for your children.

These are precious times that aren’t worth being ruined by the military’s way of giving the middle finger.

He deserves his mother

So, I’m not going to lie, before I was a mother, I could not grasp the concept of postpartum depression. How could someone be so sad with a brand new baby to hold and love? It made no sense to me whatsoever. That’s why I completely get why others don’t seem to understand.

So here is my attempt at putting it into words.

Keep in mind that this part is my personal experience and that every woman is different.

The first two weeks were iffy. It may have been PPD or it may just be baby blues. Either way, I would literally look at my child, my new baby, and start sobbing. I couldn’t believe that I did THAT. I was tired and overwhelmed and I had just popped out an entire human from my vajayjay. He was so small and helpless and completely dependent on me to keep him alive.

So I cried. Ugly cried. A lot.

As we progressed beyond the two week mark, the crying continued. I was too anxious to leave my baby for more than 10 minutes. The smallest inconvenience shut me down completely. If he had a meltdown inside a store, I crumbled.

I hated myself. I hated the way that I looked. I hated the way that I felt. I tried to do everything myself, and when I inevitably failed, I shut down for days at a time. I felt like a terrible mother, daughter, sister, friend and wife. Every mean thing I had ever said my entire life replayed in my brain. I felt unloved, unworthy and just plain out not good enough.

It took a long time for me to realize that it was postpartum depression. Every time we went to my sons pediatrician, they gave me a generic questionnaire to fill out, asking if I was “so upset that I couldn’t sleep” or “had thoughts of harming my baby”. My answers were always no, so I assumed that I was fine.

It didn’t click until about three months post partum, when I had a very “blue” day. My baby and I sat in the dark all day, I didn’t watch TV or read. I just laid there and looked at my baby, hating myself. My husband came home to a broken wife and a confused baby. He insisted that I call my doctor to get back on track.

He tried to understand and help me feel better but he couldn’t quite grasp why I was so sad, because frankly, I couldn’t either.

My hurt was affecting both of the most important people in my life. My husband was carrying so much because I couldn’t anymore. My son was just coming into this world and instead of seeing all of the magic that exists, he was seeing a sad mommy.

It took me swallowing my pride to make it back to the doctor, who told me that I did in fact, have postpartum depression.

I’m slowly getting better, I’m taking antidepressants and speaking to a therapist.

I know a lot of mothers go through this, so here’s my advice..

• Do not be shameful. Over 3 million mothers in the US have postpartum depression. It’s a chemical imbalance paired with crazy hormones and a total life changing event.

• Talk about it the best that you can, whether it’s to your mom, spouse, best friend. Heck, email me, I would love to lend you my ears.

• You are NOT a bad anything. You’re not a bad mom. You’re not a bad wife. You are loved. Your baby thinks the world of you, because right now you ARE their world.

• Take care of yourself. Self love is key. I know that you feel like you have to carry everything right now. I know that you feel guilty spending any time away from your baby, but your sanity is dependent on “you time”. It doesn’t have to be extravagant. Take a bubble bath. Take the dog on a walk. Paint your nails. This is so important to your health that I plan to do an entire entry on this in the future.

If doing it for yourself isn’t enough, if it still doesn’t persuade you to reach out, do it for your partner, or do it for you your baby.

My husband deserves his wife. My baby deserves his mother.

my blog now has an instagram! Check it out and feel free to email or DM! (link below)

https://www.instagram.com/meltdownmombie/

growing up and slowing down

Every day is different.

Some days, I can’t wait for my child to get bigger. I can’t wait him to be able to play sports and swim in the big pool. I cant wait for him to have real play dates and actually pay attention to the movie or show that’s playing. I can’t wait for him to go to school and learn how to read and write and count. I can’t wait for him to be able to be self sufficient and occupy his own time, simply for my own convenience.

Then I take a step back…

I don’t want him to grow another inch. I want to hold him forever. I want to be who he chooses forever. I want him to stay innocent and naive. I don’t want him to see how cruel this world can be to its occupants. I don’t want him to ever feel heartbreak or disappointment. I don’t want to lose my baby.

I thought I was a bad parent, for wanting to hold him back tight. I thought I was a bad parent for wanting him to hurry up and hit these milestones.

What I’m learning, slowly but surely, is that it’s about balance.

I can cuddle him all night, and still count down the days until I’m able to sleep for more than four hours at one time.

I can carry him around constantly, and still be excited for the day that he learns to walk.

I can kiss him on the cheek and still dream of the day he meets a girl and does the same thing for her.

I can sign him lullabies, and still wait for the day that he sings along.

I can cherish these moments with my baby, and still pray for his future.

I can love my little baby and still love to see him grow.

I can’t slow down or speed up time. I can’t pause it.

I also can’t turn it back.

I’m learning to enjoy each day.

I’m learning to love being his support system, because every day i’m becoming less needed.

I’m learning to enjoy each and every milestone, because it means he’s becoming who he is meant to become.

I’m learning to breathe in the moments when he needs me the most, because soon, he won’t.

I’m learning to love him being my baby and love him becoming a man, all at the same time.

beer bottles to baby bottles; a letter to my husband after babies.

My Dear Husband,

I remember when we first started dating. There were so many drunk nights and house parties. There was lots of dinner and movie dates. There were late nights AND late mornings. Long weekend? We’d sneak out of town, grab a hotel with a pool, all on a whim. Floating the river, beer in hand, was our favorite Sunday activity. Life was a constant adventure and every moment was a whirlwind.

When I married you, I married my best friend.

Then, part three came along.

Now, our weekends are spent changing diapers and trying to catch naps whenever the baby is sleeping. We can’t just take off at the drop of the hat anymore. Being out of the house for more than a couple of hours is more of a chore than anything now.

There are arguments. There are varying opinions. There’s crying induced by lack of sleep. There are a lot of emotions. There are words said that should probably remain thoughts, simple due to being overwhelmed.

But, my dear husband, you are my best friend.

You are my side kick. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Without you, there would be no “him”. This life is everything we ever wanted. We pray for and dreamed of these babies.

Our house may be a mess. I might look like a tornado picked me up and dropped me in a field. We may not have as much money to blow as we did before. We may miss our nights out.

What we have now, however, is a son that looks at us as his heroes. We have a someone to play pretend with and a reason to play on the playground. Weget to wake up to a giggling baby who just wanted his feet tickled.

I’m sorry that our moments are usually interrupted by a screaming kid. I’m sorry that dinner is more often than not late getting to the table. I’m sorry that you lately, you get so little of my time.

But, my dear husband, and it won’t be like this for very long.

He needs a lot of attention right now. He’s growing and learning how to be a boy and then a man. One day, much too soon, he’ll want to spend time with his friends instead of mom and dad. He won’t be our cuddle buddy anymore. He’ll get big and start his own journey and we will miss these moments.

One day, we’ll have drunk nights that we uber home. We’ll have fancy dinners and a clean house. We’ll see all of our favorite movies on the big screen and even get a large popcorn to share. We’ll reminisce about that time he had a blow out at the hibachi restaurant or the way that he would fake cry when we hugged. One day you’ll have your girl back.

But for now, dear husband…

I’ll be the mommy and you be the daddy.

And we’ll still be the best of friends, including our milk breathed part three.

Here’s a link to the inspiration for this post (one of my favorite blogs): http://www.gracewhilewewait.com/www.gracewhilewewait.com/dearhusbandilovedyoufirst

dear deployment

In 2017, my husband and I endured our first deployment. I went in thinking it would be easy. Im a tough girl.

We said our goodbyes, we tried to make it quick.

They called his name and he boarded the bus to take him to the airplane. Once he disappeared from sight, I headed to my car and then home.

I was fine until bed time, when I looked over realized that he wouldn’t be sleeping next to me for months.

It hit me even harder two days later, when I learned that I was pregnant.

Deployment is hard on every one.

So here’s my best advice..

An open letter to the one staying at home,

whether you’re a spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, you’re about to endure something so indescribable. I cant begin to explain the loneliness. You’ll get home and wander around the house, missing every mess they make. You may be a lucky one and be able to talk to your significant other a lot, or you might not. Either way, internet connection and service over seas is terrible, so expect blurry face time calls and delayed texts. You’ll have good days and you’ll have bad days. Trying to keep yourself busy only partially helps, but it does help. If you’re working, keep working. Figure out the schedule that you’ll get to talk to your S/o on and talk to your boss. Work around what you can. There are going to be things that make you angry and most of them are insignificant. Talk about your problems, don’t fight. That is my biggest advice. Don’t. Fight. No matter how mad you are, stay reasonable and keep in touch. Any of the mean things you say during deployment will stick for a long time after. The days that you choose not to talk to each other will loom over you as regret. Remember that they are in a new environment. Remember that although they’re tough, and they would never admit, they’re scared. Remember that while you’re only missing them, they’re missing everything that they know and love. Remember why you fell in love. Remember all of the things that brought you together. Remember all of the adventures. Remember all of their corny jokes and strange habits. Remember that this is a test for you guys and that if you can get through this, there aren’t very many obstacles that you can’t overcome. Hug them as tight as you can and kiss them for as long as you can hold your breath. Remember it’s temporary and that the “coming home” kiss is a thousand times more blissful than any other.

to the one going away..

whether you’re a spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, you’re about to endure something so indescribable. You’re going somewhere that is, in fact, terrifying. It’s going to be hard. You’ll begin your journey with excitement. Give it a few weeks and you’ll miss everything and everyone from home. This deployment is going to teach you so much more than you expected. You will learn more about your career and how to problem solve like never before. You will learn who you are as a person and who you want to be for your family. Talk to your S/o as much as you possibly can. Don’t waste a minute. I know you’re tired, but do it anyway. Missing out on even an hour of talking will come back as an aching in your heart. Be nice. I know you’re in one of the most stressful situations known to man. I know it’s hard to remain sympathetic, but I’m telling you, he nice. Don’t. Fight. Talk about everything. Every problem. You know when you’re safe. You know when you’re wandering around with your rifle and when your in your room playing cards with some friends. Your partner doesn’t. Their guard is always up and they are always worried. Communicate frequently and let them know you’re safe. Be patient. Be hopeful. It’s all temporary. I know you miss the world you know, but time will pass so quickly on your end. Remember your significant others face. Remember their laugh and their smile. Remember your first date. Remember why you fell in love. Hug them as tight as you can and kiss them for as long as you can hold your breath. Remember it’s temporary and that the “coming home” kiss is a thousand times more blissful than any other.